Why do some women hate on other women

Why do some women Hate on other women? Unravelling Internalised Misogyny

In a world striving for gender equality, it’s disheartening to witness instances where women undermine one another. Internalised misogyny, the ingrained societal belief that leads women to adopt and reinforce negative stereotypes about their own gender, shapes how some women perceive and interact with others. This article delves into why some women exhibit hostility towards their peers, the dynamics of these interactions in professional and personal settings, and how we can create a supportive environment instead.

The Roots of Internalised Misogyny

Internalised misogyny often stems from cultural conditioning. Women are frequently pitted against one another through societal narratives that prioritise competition over collaboration. Studies suggest that women who have faced discrimination or have internalised patriarchal values may develop a sense of resentment towards their peers as a defence mechanism (Buchanan & Ormerod, 2020). This can manifest as jealousy, backhanded compliments, or outright hostility.

Consider a scenario in a professional setting where a woman might say to a colleague, “I’m impressed you were able to get that promotion without a lot of experience.” While framed as a compliment, such statements often carry an implicit criticism, undermining the recipient's achievements. This behaviour may arise from the speaker’s insecurities or the belief that success is a finite resource—if one woman succeeds, it threatens the perceived potential of others.

Key Factors Contributing to Hostility Among Women

1. Insecurities: Many women grapple with insecurities regarding their appearance, professional competence, or social standing. When one woman perceives another as a threat to her self-worth or status, it can trigger defensive behaviours, leading to hostility or undermining actions.

2. Jealousy: Jealousy can stem from comparing oneself to others, especially in environments where success is visible. For instance, if one woman achieves a promotion while another struggles, the latter may react with resentment instead of support.

3. Social Comparison: The phenomenon of social comparison theory explains how individuals evaluate their own worth based on comparisons with others. Women may internalise the belief that they need to compete against their peers to validate their value, resulting in negative interactions

4. Fear of Judgment: Some women may fear that supporting another woman might lead to being judged or criticised themselves. This fear can result in a reluctance to advocate for others, creating an environment of silence and competition.

5. Cultural Conditioning: Societal narratives often portray women as rivals, promoting a mindset where women feel they must "compete" for attention and success. This cultural backdrop can lead to behaviors that undermine solidarity among women.

6. Scarcity Mentality: The belief that there are limited opportunities for women can create a scarcity mentality, where individuals feel that helping another woman may diminish their own chances for success. This mindset promotes rivalry instead of collaboration.

The Psychological Underpinnings

Research in psychology highlights how internalised misogyny can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that women who internalise societal messages about gender roles tend to engage in behaviours that limit their own success (Wang et al., 2019). This can result in a cycle where women not only compete against each other but also reinforce the stereotypes that hold them back.

Navigating Hostility in Professional Life

In professional environments, it’s crucial to recognise and address these dynamics. When faced with rudeness or backhanded remarks, it’s essential to maintain composure. Here are some strategies to navigate around negative interactions:

1. Set Boundaries: Politely address the behaviour. For example, responding with, “I appreciate your perspective, but I believe my experience qualifies me for this role,” can assert your confidence and discourage further negativity.

2. Seek Support: Build a network of like-minded women who uplift one another. By surrounding yourself with supportive individuals, you create a buffer against hostile interactions.

3. Focus on Collaboration: Shift the narrative by promoting teamwork and shared success. Highlighting collective achievements can diminish the competitive atmosphere.

The Benefits of Support

Supporting one another can yield significant benefits for womankind. Research shows that women who collaborate and support each other experience greater levels of job satisfaction and career advancement (McKinsey & Company, 2020). By creating spaces where women celebrate each other’s successes, we can dismantle the harmful effects of internalised misogyny.

Conclusion

The journey toward gender equality is not solely about fighting against external oppression; it also involves addressing the internalized beliefs that can hinder our progress. By understanding the dynamics of internalised misogyny and its impact on our relationships, we can cultivate a culture of support and collaboration among women. The path forward is clear: together, we can empower each other, creating an environment where all women thrive.

References

- Buchanan, E. A., & Ormerod, M. (2020). Gender Dynamics in Workplace Interactions. Journal of Workplace Behavioral Health.

- Wang, M. T., Degol, J. L., & Salmela-Aro, K. (2019). Internalized Gender Bias and Women’s Career Development. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

- McKinsey & Company. (2020). Women in the Workplace 2020. [Link to report](https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/gender-equality/women-in-the-workplace-2020).