From Pain to Power: What 40 Taught Me About Womanhood

From Pain to Power: What 40 Taught Me About Womanhood

As I turned 40 recently, I found myself reflecting on the challenges I'd faced and the lessons I'd learned throughout my journey. To all the amazing Gen Z women and girls out there, here are some valuable pieces of advice I wish I had been given in my 20's:

1. Set Boundaries: They are essential for your mental health and personal growth. Research shows that setting boundaries can lead to improved well-being and reduced stress (Kahn, 2018). You can be kind and still say no when something crosses the line

2. Recognise Your Worth: Don’t stay in relationships, companies, industries, or jobs that don’t value you or recognise your worth. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, individuals who recognise their self-worth tend to have better mental health outcomes (APA, 2019).

3. Watch for Exploitation: Be aware of signs of exploitation in both your personal and professional life. For instance, in the workplace, exploitation might look like consistently being asked to work overtime without pay or being given additional responsibilities without any recognition or compensation. Protect your energy and well-being. A report from the TUC highlights that 1 in 5 workers have experienced exploitation in the workplace (TUC, 2021).

4. Surround Yourself with Support: Build a circle of people who uplift you, celebrate your successes, and invite you to their table. Your tribe matters! Research indicates that strong social support networks are linked to higher resilience and better coping mechanisms (Taylor, 2017).

5. Seek Supportive Partners: In romantic relationships, look for someone who is proud to celebrate you openly and will respect you enough to provide the level of commitment and consistency you deserve. A supportive partner will encourage your growth and stand by you through challenges. Studies show that supportive relationships contribute to increased happiness and life satisfaction (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

6. Take Leaps of Faith: Whether it's applying for that promotion, pursuing that master's degree, or stepping out of your comfort zone—go for it! Life is too short to miss out on opportunities. Research by the University of California found that individuals who take calculated risks tend to experience greater career satisfaction (UC Berkeley, 2019).

7. Focus on Your Own Journey: Everyone’s path is different. Don’t compare your progress to others. Embrace your unique story and growth. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that social comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and decreased self-esteem (Festinger, 1954).

8. Be Strong and Authentic: Stand tall and don’t worry about others’ opinions if you know you’re doing what’s right for you. People will always judge you no matter what avenue you take in life. So you may as well follow your own path, even if it means walking alone. The right people will join you along the way.

9. Invest in Your Education: Education is a powerful tool for empowerment. Statistics show that women with higher education levels tend to earn more and have better job prospects (OECD, 2020).

10. Recognise Envy and Backhanded Compliments: Be vigilant for backhanded compliments or subtle discouragement from others. Comments that seem supportive on the surface may hide jealousy or competition. Trust your instincts, and don’t let these remarks diminish your confidence or aspirations.

11. Understand Internalised Misogyny: Some women may express jealousy or competition due to societal conditioning that pits us against one another. Recognise that internalised misogyny can lead to unhealthy dynamics. Instead of competing, let’s lift each other up, creating a culture of support and collaboration among women.

12. Acknowledge Broader Barriers: Be aware of the various barriers that can impact women, including race, neuro-diversity, and sexuality. Understanding these dynamics can help us empathise with others and advocate for a more inclusive environment. Embrace diversity and recognise that everyone faces unique challenges that deserve acknowledgment.

As we navigate our 20s and beyond, let’s empower each other to embrace our journeys and recognise the strength we hold within. Here’s to growth, resilience, and celebrating our worth! 💪✨